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thebrokenarrowswent all the way out to this theater to watch the DCI event but... silly me, of course it sold out. I even considered getting tix early and didn't. so I didn't feel too bad because it was just me being careless lol. and I'll see 'em later this year IN PERSON anyway so that's much better. still ached to see em but if it had been just me, it might have been worse. but. it wasn't.
y'see it wasn't just me that went and watched jurassic world instead. it was the ENTIRE SYSTEM. the SU episode that aired was all about fusion and god it fucked me up. got me feeling blendy with all of them. ALL of them. i could feel them all and it was nuts. one moment Thirteen's fur cloak brushed along mine, next Kyo's wide eyes on the screen, Kris puffing smoke and jeering at the fake blood, I could see and feel them all as easy as looking from eye to eye. People that HAVENT EVEN PROPERLY MANIFESTED. Just shards, fragments, voices that come and go but dont have a permanent presence [Face and Name]. This lasted all night. Hiccup's eyes welled up at the human animal connection one moment, then the next he felt violent for the hurt inflicted on all the animals by people. I put my arm around his. Felt August squeezing me with his big arms at a stupid romance scene, saying he thought it was cute. Felt Jewel curl her fat tail around me.
All night, and sometimes it rolled more towards instability, even bordering on panic - arguing over songs in the car, flipping through a song halfway into it, bickering over how to get home. This is how we're meant to be - connected as a family, as a System - but maybe not quite THIS heavily lol. Things can get unstable. And we can't just come apart and unfuse when we don't work together as a team lol. So.
And in the middle of it all... was Owen. He responded to one of the main characters named Owen, his name being called repeatedly. Felt him stir and open his eyes to it. "Hey... they're calling my name."
Felt vines wrap around him tenderly, and other limbs and things besides. We were so blendy I FELT him feel them touching him. The System itself seemed to touch him. A soft, masculine voice I can't put a name to said, "Welcome to the fold, kid."
He's not still around and he's barely lucid right now, but. But. There it is lol. Was just waiting for it to happen. And last night was a good night for it. Born among the System as a whole. But not just born from one System. There's never been anyone like him, so... we have no idea what's going to happen.
[Note: the Toy Soldier walked behind me into the theater but the moment we saw it was sold out, he kinda glitched out of existence. More solidity to the idea that he's... part of me, somehow. A shadow, an extension, a hologram, a ghost, somehow connected to me.]
Have more thoughts about today and yesterday's SU episodes [FUSION FEELS SOBS FOREVER] but that'll come later. Just wanted to record the amazing experience that was last night. It's still not completely gone. We put together a SUPER LONG headspace playlist, sort of a dance mix/uplifting songs with System themes or shoutouts to some of us, or just songs we all like to sing together or that we have a long history with. Yep. We're alone in the house so gonna put that on now.
y'see it wasn't just me that went and watched jurassic world instead. it was the ENTIRE SYSTEM. the SU episode that aired was all about fusion and god it fucked me up. got me feeling blendy with all of them. ALL of them. i could feel them all and it was nuts. one moment Thirteen's fur cloak brushed along mine, next Kyo's wide eyes on the screen, Kris puffing smoke and jeering at the fake blood, I could see and feel them all as easy as looking from eye to eye. People that HAVENT EVEN PROPERLY MANIFESTED. Just shards, fragments, voices that come and go but dont have a permanent presence [Face and Name]. This lasted all night. Hiccup's eyes welled up at the human animal connection one moment, then the next he felt violent for the hurt inflicted on all the animals by people. I put my arm around his. Felt August squeezing me with his big arms at a stupid romance scene, saying he thought it was cute. Felt Jewel curl her fat tail around me.
All night, and sometimes it rolled more towards instability, even bordering on panic - arguing over songs in the car, flipping through a song halfway into it, bickering over how to get home. This is how we're meant to be - connected as a family, as a System - but maybe not quite THIS heavily lol. Things can get unstable. And we can't just come apart and unfuse when we don't work together as a team lol. So.
And in the middle of it all... was Owen. He responded to one of the main characters named Owen, his name being called repeatedly. Felt him stir and open his eyes to it. "Hey... they're calling my name."
Felt vines wrap around him tenderly, and other limbs and things besides. We were so blendy I FELT him feel them touching him. The System itself seemed to touch him. A soft, masculine voice I can't put a name to said, "Welcome to the fold, kid."
He's not still around and he's barely lucid right now, but. But. There it is lol. Was just waiting for it to happen. And last night was a good night for it. Born among the System as a whole. But not just born from one System. There's never been anyone like him, so... we have no idea what's going to happen.
[Note: the Toy Soldier walked behind me into the theater but the moment we saw it was sold out, he kinda glitched out of existence. More solidity to the idea that he's... part of me, somehow. A shadow, an extension, a hologram, a ghost, somehow connected to me.]
Have more thoughts about today and yesterday's SU episodes [FUSION FEELS SOBS FOREVER] but that'll come later. Just wanted to record the amazing experience that was last night. It's still not completely gone. We put together a SUPER LONG headspace playlist, sort of a dance mix/uplifting songs with System themes or shoutouts to some of us, or just songs we all like to sing together or that we have a long history with. Yep. We're alone in the house so gonna put that on now.
