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found a super fuckin Vernon song. guess what. it's Sleeping At Last. this surprises no one. but it feels real good to see him vibing with this stuff. so here's a Vernon
andddd a little me!
found a super fuckin Vernon song. guess what. it's Sleeping At Last. this surprises no one. but it feels real good to see him vibing with this stuff. so here's a Vernon
andddd a little me!
110715 actually during the day
Nov. 7th, 2015 06:59 pmvarious headspace related things! and... soda flavors for some reason?? lol
- Ruby FINALLY gave me her fucking middle name. it's Meadow. Ruby Meadow [which if you ask me sounds like a poppy reference but lol she swears it's not]. i still don't know her surname but the way she acts makes me suspect it's either catholic or jewish in nature. i can't figure out which side of things she is on! but definitely one of those. the typical New Englander 'my religion is more of a culture than a faith' style catholic/jew.
- Vernon was fronting around the time we drank soooo much soda and were really super addicted. he liked that gamer fuel shit, the blue mountain dew that i think is still around?? and would drink three or four cans a day. [while looking this up just now i discovered that there is a mother fucking mountain dew wiki. holy shit. there truly is a wiki for everything] i'm gonna want to trigger him up sometime and start trying to talk to him. i dunno when. but! when i do, that's probably the way to do it. super sweet disgusting mountain dew lol. code red or the game fuel or whatever. he'd totally be that typical gamer douchebag who eats doritos and plays call of duty and halo and crap online lol. [for the record i fucking HATE doritos so yeah it'd have to be him and not me]
also, as far as WHICH flavor of that shit he drank, it was the first 'game fuel' promo flavor. it came in a Halo 3 can that was kind of blue but the drink itself inside was bright red-orange. i believe this flavor is still in production and it's called citrus cherry. so. for later reference. and we remember those two world of warcraft flavors from the following year too. [we drank a lot of mountain dew in those years ok lol. A LOT.]
he also remembers these three flavors in particular, from summer of 2008.
random weird headmate triggers to note lol
if we WERE going to buy that game fuel stuff tho just so ya know, it's only available online. so. can't find it in stores, no use looking.
actually tbh we in general but ESPECIALLY Vernon looooves soda with citrus flavoring in it. that's always been our preferred soda flavor as a System and it's been proven over and over lol. we flock to drinks like sprite, mello yello, 7 up, sun drop etc. and regular mountain dew of course although that's basically just Sugar Lime Flavor by now lol.
but back in the day there was Vault which is our FAVORITE soda of all time and our bones will never rest in the ground unless that drink makes a comeback someday lol. orange kickstart mt dew [aka Trash Drink thx house of leaves :P] kind of tastes similar! but like, a weird diet version with some of that aspartame fake sugar tasting flavor in it instead. so like diet vault. but it's close enough that we will readily drink that one.
other mountain dew flavors that various Cores lay claim to actually! Apostrophe loves code red lol. such nerds. do u really have ur own mountain dew flavors of choice like rly. she said it was the first alternate flavor she saw and it made her think of a shiny pokemon so she drank it. she likes cherry flavors in general. anything red. upon research code red came out in 2001, so yep that sounds just about right for her timeline.
as a last note: i have no memory of having had this as a kid so i find it hard to justify spending $50 on it, but goddamnit, someone split the cost of some surge with me!!! I gotta know how it tastes :C
- Ruby FINALLY gave me her fucking middle name. it's Meadow. Ruby Meadow [which if you ask me sounds like a poppy reference but lol she swears it's not]. i still don't know her surname but the way she acts makes me suspect it's either catholic or jewish in nature. i can't figure out which side of things she is on! but definitely one of those. the typical New Englander 'my religion is more of a culture than a faith' style catholic/jew.
- Vernon was fronting around the time we drank soooo much soda and were really super addicted. he liked that gamer fuel shit, the blue mountain dew that i think is still around?? and would drink three or four cans a day. [while looking this up just now i discovered that there is a mother fucking mountain dew wiki. holy shit. there truly is a wiki for everything] i'm gonna want to trigger him up sometime and start trying to talk to him. i dunno when. but! when i do, that's probably the way to do it. super sweet disgusting mountain dew lol. code red or the game fuel or whatever. he'd totally be that typical gamer douchebag who eats doritos and plays call of duty and halo and crap online lol. [for the record i fucking HATE doritos so yeah it'd have to be him and not me]
also, as far as WHICH flavor of that shit he drank, it was the first 'game fuel' promo flavor. it came in a Halo 3 can that was kind of blue but the drink itself inside was bright red-orange. i believe this flavor is still in production and it's called citrus cherry. so. for later reference. and we remember those two world of warcraft flavors from the following year too. [we drank a lot of mountain dew in those years ok lol. A LOT.]
he also remembers these three flavors in particular, from summer of 2008.
random weird headmate triggers to note lol
if we WERE going to buy that game fuel stuff tho just so ya know, it's only available online. so. can't find it in stores, no use looking.
actually tbh we in general but ESPECIALLY Vernon looooves soda with citrus flavoring in it. that's always been our preferred soda flavor as a System and it's been proven over and over lol. we flock to drinks like sprite, mello yello, 7 up, sun drop etc. and regular mountain dew of course although that's basically just Sugar Lime Flavor by now lol.
but back in the day there was Vault which is our FAVORITE soda of all time and our bones will never rest in the ground unless that drink makes a comeback someday lol. orange kickstart mt dew [aka Trash Drink thx house of leaves :P] kind of tastes similar! but like, a weird diet version with some of that aspartame fake sugar tasting flavor in it instead. so like diet vault. but it's close enough that we will readily drink that one.
other mountain dew flavors that various Cores lay claim to actually! Apostrophe loves code red lol. such nerds. do u really have ur own mountain dew flavors of choice like rly. she said it was the first alternate flavor she saw and it made her think of a shiny pokemon so she drank it. she likes cherry flavors in general. anything red. upon research code red came out in 2001, so yep that sounds just about right for her timeline.
as a last note: i have no memory of having had this as a kid so i find it hard to justify spending $50 on it, but goddamnit, someone split the cost of some surge with me!!! I gotta know how it tastes :C
BLEH opened this up to talk about Summer or whatever but she wandered off to shower [and forgot a towel :v] and then the thought vanished lol
bb and i went to the coffee shop and it started raining and we almost had nowhere to sit because they were so busy. but we copped a seat and i drew some pokemon tarot stuff, the Seven of Swords is gonna look AMAZING and the Two of Swords is so perfect it makes me wanna cry. having some great ideas there this project just keeps hanging on and being enthralling. idk how much we'll be able to sell these since they're Nintendo IP?? but i don't really care at least at this point. just suddenly, in that same coffee shop, that one day the idea fell into my head and it's stayed there for like a month. and been slowly chipped away at, almost every day.
talks with Cores on and off today. Summer came up as she tends to do during, well, the summer lol. just briefly in a haze of blue stars and sparkle and glitter. and a sighing breeze. that was her essence. she said she was going to get in the bath and pretend she was a mermaid but instead she just got in the shower and then vanished. and instead it was me and Vernon. who noticed how hungry we were and reminded me wordlessly of the egg sandwiches that a girl we dated years ago taught us how to make. [because that was how little we knew how to cook. we were taught nothing lol] simple fried eggs in a pan that take 5 minutes. after which we made like every day for months and months and years. and we got out of the shower and Vernon kinda took the lead, which seems rare for him. and that's how, the day after having a small breakdown about food problems and kitchen anxiety, the immediate next day we jump into the kitchen and cook eggs and chat conversationally with our roomie who is right nearby and listening to us. no awkwardness. no fear. no feeling like we need to hide or be silent. how strange but how nice.
other things:
- art alias for now is Dragon In Coffee Shop, as of yesterday. think i like it. cute imagery. idk what i'll do with it, but.
- in the coffee shop a guy walked in wearing a black shirt with a word on it that i can't remember, and emblazoned with a broken arrow. snapped in half, crossed upon his chest, with the fletching on one side and arrowhead on the other. felt dozens of gasps at once behind and beside me. he immediately vanished or i'd have cornered him and asked where he'd got it. maybe. or else just taken a sneaky photo ;p
- let's play channel is still tossing and turning in my head. money is tight this check so no new equipment but... i think eventually this will happen. i'm finally on my own now, so the dream of a LP channel from years ago might actually come to fruition now. especially in an apartment full of likeminded folk who would totally get this and maybe wanna pitch in too sometimes. :3
feelin really rested. don't wanna go to work but it's my thursday. this week has been really weirdly long idk. think soon i'm gonna go back to where i went with bb in the park, deep in the woods. old growth forest. loads of huge holy centuries-old trees and little streams full of life. amazing to find a place like that this deep in the city, more amazing to think it's just a few hundred years old and used to have been a plowed-up plantation property, and the most amazing thing of all is thinking that without the city there to guard what nature it has and let it grow wild, if this had been the country, it wouldn't even be that big and thriving. it'd be just like the area where i'm from. where the trees only get so big and the woods can only grow so much. irony.
i need to go back there, but this time alone, and sit with the System and feel them all around me. too many distractions a lot of the time makes it hard to sense them even when they're right there.
the other day was the father's birthday. when my birthday came he broke the silence of almost 4 years to text me happy birthday [and in doing so deadnamed me, of course], and i said thanks. and on his birthday, i returned the favor. not because i felt obligated or guilted into texting him back, but because i thought at the time when he texted me, even though it made me uncomfortable that he did so, that it would just be right. just do it back a couple weeks later when his birthday rolled around, and that's that. so i did and he said thanks and i deleted the thread and it was done. and i feel good about that. and i have no plans to talk to him again for the foreseeable future. which i also feel good about.
i used that word deadname -- just discovered that it exists today. that's a word like misgendering, where that's when you use someone's wrong pronoun - usually this term means it's done on purpose -- but deadnaming is when you use someone's old name or legal given name instead of what they prefer. with him it's not QUITE the same because i haven't explicitly expressed my wish to go by Oliver but i doubt he'll respect it when that does come up anyway. he and the mother have never even called me Kris, they both call me by the hated first name because when i first changed it i was too much of a weenie to insist that they call me Kris. even when they asked me i said no they didn't have to. which i regret now lol but i guess nowadays it doesn't matter too much. kris is just as wrong a name as the first name. only Oliver is correct.
another biofamily thing: the little brother's nickname [also given and not taken, he's been called it since birth and had no say in it lol] is Bo. which is kind of a southern name. but recently i've realized that this name is almost ALWAYS spelled "Beau" which is much handsomer and actually makes some kind of sense unlike "Bo".... my family lol.... if i were him i'd def start spelling it Beau.
so ya that's about it i guess. bb has gone to do a rehearsal and bird has been out hiking a lot so i'm mostly alone w my thoughts until work. which is alright i think. today is a lot better than yesterday was.
bb and i went to the coffee shop and it started raining and we almost had nowhere to sit because they were so busy. but we copped a seat and i drew some pokemon tarot stuff, the Seven of Swords is gonna look AMAZING and the Two of Swords is so perfect it makes me wanna cry. having some great ideas there this project just keeps hanging on and being enthralling. idk how much we'll be able to sell these since they're Nintendo IP?? but i don't really care at least at this point. just suddenly, in that same coffee shop, that one day the idea fell into my head and it's stayed there for like a month. and been slowly chipped away at, almost every day.
talks with Cores on and off today. Summer came up as she tends to do during, well, the summer lol. just briefly in a haze of blue stars and sparkle and glitter. and a sighing breeze. that was her essence. she said she was going to get in the bath and pretend she was a mermaid but instead she just got in the shower and then vanished. and instead it was me and Vernon. who noticed how hungry we were and reminded me wordlessly of the egg sandwiches that a girl we dated years ago taught us how to make. [because that was how little we knew how to cook. we were taught nothing lol] simple fried eggs in a pan that take 5 minutes. after which we made like every day for months and months and years. and we got out of the shower and Vernon kinda took the lead, which seems rare for him. and that's how, the day after having a small breakdown about food problems and kitchen anxiety, the immediate next day we jump into the kitchen and cook eggs and chat conversationally with our roomie who is right nearby and listening to us. no awkwardness. no fear. no feeling like we need to hide or be silent. how strange but how nice.
other things:
- art alias for now is Dragon In Coffee Shop, as of yesterday. think i like it. cute imagery. idk what i'll do with it, but.
- in the coffee shop a guy walked in wearing a black shirt with a word on it that i can't remember, and emblazoned with a broken arrow. snapped in half, crossed upon his chest, with the fletching on one side and arrowhead on the other. felt dozens of gasps at once behind and beside me. he immediately vanished or i'd have cornered him and asked where he'd got it. maybe. or else just taken a sneaky photo ;p
- let's play channel is still tossing and turning in my head. money is tight this check so no new equipment but... i think eventually this will happen. i'm finally on my own now, so the dream of a LP channel from years ago might actually come to fruition now. especially in an apartment full of likeminded folk who would totally get this and maybe wanna pitch in too sometimes. :3
feelin really rested. don't wanna go to work but it's my thursday. this week has been really weirdly long idk. think soon i'm gonna go back to where i went with bb in the park, deep in the woods. old growth forest. loads of huge holy centuries-old trees and little streams full of life. amazing to find a place like that this deep in the city, more amazing to think it's just a few hundred years old and used to have been a plowed-up plantation property, and the most amazing thing of all is thinking that without the city there to guard what nature it has and let it grow wild, if this had been the country, it wouldn't even be that big and thriving. it'd be just like the area where i'm from. where the trees only get so big and the woods can only grow so much. irony.
i need to go back there, but this time alone, and sit with the System and feel them all around me. too many distractions a lot of the time makes it hard to sense them even when they're right there.
the other day was the father's birthday. when my birthday came he broke the silence of almost 4 years to text me happy birthday [and in doing so deadnamed me, of course], and i said thanks. and on his birthday, i returned the favor. not because i felt obligated or guilted into texting him back, but because i thought at the time when he texted me, even though it made me uncomfortable that he did so, that it would just be right. just do it back a couple weeks later when his birthday rolled around, and that's that. so i did and he said thanks and i deleted the thread and it was done. and i feel good about that. and i have no plans to talk to him again for the foreseeable future. which i also feel good about.
i used that word deadname -- just discovered that it exists today. that's a word like misgendering, where that's when you use someone's wrong pronoun - usually this term means it's done on purpose -- but deadnaming is when you use someone's old name or legal given name instead of what they prefer. with him it's not QUITE the same because i haven't explicitly expressed my wish to go by Oliver but i doubt he'll respect it when that does come up anyway. he and the mother have never even called me Kris, they both call me by the hated first name because when i first changed it i was too much of a weenie to insist that they call me Kris. even when they asked me i said no they didn't have to. which i regret now lol but i guess nowadays it doesn't matter too much. kris is just as wrong a name as the first name. only Oliver is correct.
another biofamily thing: the little brother's nickname [also given and not taken, he's been called it since birth and had no say in it lol] is Bo. which is kind of a southern name. but recently i've realized that this name is almost ALWAYS spelled "Beau" which is much handsomer and actually makes some kind of sense unlike "Bo".... my family lol.... if i were him i'd def start spelling it Beau.
so ya that's about it i guess. bb has gone to do a rehearsal and bird has been out hiking a lot so i'm mostly alone w my thoughts until work. which is alright i think. today is a lot better than yesterday was.
I've now made in Tomodachi Life all of the Cores that we know of, excepting possibly Kyo because I have no clue how I'd humanize her LOL. It's never been easy to do.
And yes, I'm getting an ever stronger feeling that Kyo should be included in the Cores lineup. She fronted so regularly in tandem with everyone from 2004-2011 [so mostly Thirteen and Vernon] and her distinct influence shows up so strongly in journal entries from the time, it's impossible to ignore. I'm not sure if she meets the criteria to count as a member of the Bloodline? but I guess time will tell on that.
Also: learning more about Vernon leads me to realize there are some really pertinent similarities between him and Anton, who also has not been seen for a number of years but whose presence is still felt. They might just be the same entity, which would mean that Vernon is a rabbit.
The Core lineup as of now:
Apostrophe
Summer
Thirteen
Kyo
Vernon
Oliver
Also bear in mind that while we have pretty strongly narrowed down Vernon as an existing entity/he has either remanifested or shown himself properly, he still has yet to actually show up in headspace and interact with anyone. We get the feeling that either he is not strong enough for some reason, or he's avoiding us for some reason. He definitely seems to feel like the "black sheep" as such [although such a concept is laughable in this motley crew, let's be honest].
And yes, I'm getting an ever stronger feeling that Kyo should be included in the Cores lineup. She fronted so regularly in tandem with everyone from 2004-2011 [so mostly Thirteen and Vernon] and her distinct influence shows up so strongly in journal entries from the time, it's impossible to ignore. I'm not sure if she meets the criteria to count as a member of the Bloodline? but I guess time will tell on that.
Also: learning more about Vernon leads me to realize there are some really pertinent similarities between him and Anton, who also has not been seen for a number of years but whose presence is still felt. They might just be the same entity, which would mean that Vernon is a rabbit.
The Core lineup as of now:
Apostrophe
Summer
Thirteen
Kyo
Vernon
Oliver
Also bear in mind that while we have pretty strongly narrowed down Vernon as an existing entity/he has either remanifested or shown himself properly, he still has yet to actually show up in headspace and interact with anyone. We get the feeling that either he is not strong enough for some reason, or he's avoiding us for some reason. He definitely seems to feel like the "black sheep" as such [although such a concept is laughable in this motley crew, let's be honest].
system update 010215
Jan. 2nd, 2015 07:09 pmOH Something really important happened the other day that I forgot to record!! Was digging thru a closet in the house where I keep some of my clothes that MUST be hung up and not folded, and I came upon the coat. The long lambskin trenchcoat which we used to wear so often, the most likely anchor for the missing link Core, whose name we are thinking is Vernon. ... It was covered in mold. What the hell. I don't think it's ruined, only the leather has mold on it [like ALL OVER it though holy shit] and the fabric inside is fine. Just needs a serious wash. But like... very symbolic almost. We get a 'message' that the black coat is important for the missing Core, and then we find out that said coat is... in need of some TLC. Much like the missing Core themself.
system update 122814
Dec. 28th, 2014 04:59 pmStumbled upon my old Humble Voice account from back in 2007-8, and found a LOAD of old material that had been lost, a ton of it pertaining to the "missing link" fronter from around that period. Seems like they were active mostly from 2008 to 2010, the latter half of that time period strongly sharing the front with Kyo. [Also of note, summer 2009 was the first time Cassius showed up, and he was close by when Kyo would front often.]
Getting a masculine vibe from the pictures when they would front. We would often go by "Vernon" privately, although we never asked anyone to call us that, it was considered a 'male alter ego' as whom we would photograph ourselves.
Things during that period that don't feel connected to "Vernon" at all: daemons, the star trek period [or maybe i'm wrong? maybe they are a huge nerd], the Phenomenauts period [because that was all 100% Kyo]
From our system onenote:
Getting a masculine vibe from the pictures when they would front. We would often go by "Vernon" privately, although we never asked anyone to call us that, it was considered a 'male alter ego' as whom we would photograph ourselves.
Things during that period that don't feel connected to "Vernon" at all: daemons, the star trek period [or maybe i'm wrong? maybe they are a huge nerd], the Phenomenauts period [because that was all 100% Kyo]
From our system onenote:
Basic info on them:
- Oversized, very beat up secondhand black lambskin trenchcoat [possible anchor]
- Possibly an orange or blonde messy mohawk, shorter than Kris'.
- See [redacted] from 2008 for pictures of this individual fronting.
- Possible name: Vernon.
