we've mostly recovered from yesterday. mostly. feel like we can take on the weekend, i hope anyway. no promises about tomorrow but i'm no longer an inch from quitting. it'll be a while before i can look at the involved parties without some amount of rage lol, but it's fine. today should be busy but fine.
today definitely helped. i needed today. the roommates took us out to eat as a belated housewarming sort of gift for us moving in back in march. [wow it's been five months already???] took us to this cute little bike-themed restaurant in plaza midwood. i laughed at the four of us fatasses [or rather, three fatasses/chubs and my super average weight but not exactly in shape boyfriend lol] in a bike related place. [I'D LOVE A BIKE THO GODDAMN BUY ME ONE] the food i had was ok, i sorta regret getting a salad but ehh it's fine, it was good and i have some leftovers to eat. but mostly it was super fun laughing with my bb and roomies at this spanish sports talk show that was on mute and figuring out by their expressions what was going on. and at one point Damien toasted us [how european of him lol] saying "welcome to our home!" and a bunch of other things, like his business becoming legally official, Jordan's promotion, bb's new job, etc etc. there wasn't anything related to me in particular which seems kinda weird but actually i didn't feel left out because their successes are my successes. i dunno if you'd call us a family, but we're definitely a sort of team. that lives together lol. maybe we are family i dunno. i like them, i know that much. and living with them is easy which is something i need.
ALSO while we were in the restaurant: Owen was lowkey chilling nearby and i repeatedly saw the name Owen flashing up on tv screens. multiple times. what the hell. and as soon as i walk in the door i see a claw machine that says "Toy Soldier" in huge letters emblazoned on it. literally right there. wtaf. AND: our waitress had the crossed arrows tattoo on her arm. which is making me rethink my Broken Arrows tattoo placement actually. thinking front of my right bicep now.
we drove separately and i just felt a pull to walk around plaza midwood for a bit, so i convinced bb to go with me. just walk down the sidewalk for a bit, see the sights. [we saw a cats only grooming spa. yo. think i know where we'll take murphy to get his butt trimmed down lol. and microchips/shots for $15!! need to do that too!] then we got to where the DQ is and went.... weh. it's gonna rain i think. the wind started kicking up for one of the daily summer evening storms and we'd walked a ways from the car. so we started to head back. but THEN.
then i felt the vibration in my chest. the familiar kicking of drums, not just any drums but marching drums. i hear the sharp snapping of snare drums. and i look across the street and there they are!! a small drumline warming up in the grocery store parking lot. oh my god. so we cross the street to head back that way and they begin to march. heading down the street beating out a sharp cadence. yas. YASSSS. so obviously we follow them and just i'm reveling in the glory of the walls, the buildings, everything echoing with the familiar sound of marching drums. even though the first bass was beating the hell out of his drum way too hard and i could see the dents in the head. then they rounded a corner and stopped and began to display choreographed dances and shouts and stuff omg. the drums had led us to a little market that was set up on the plaza, with tapestries and blankets and art everywhere. it was beautiful but i had eyes only for the drums. i tipped them and i found out they were raising money for the burned churches. i had tears oh my god. absolutely beautiful and so well done. and it felt so good for my entire body to vibrate with the power of these drums again. i live for this.
wanted to join them so bad. but i doubt they'd take a white kid lol. if they had any online presence at all i had absolutely intended to ask anyway!! but i... can't find them anywhere, just videos of past performances. it sucks they're really really good and i'd LOVE, love to join them. i'd absolutely march for their cause. completely. that's an honorable reason to drum. i would drum for that with them anyday.
i knew as soon as this happened, this is why i felt pulled out here. i'm glad i followed that pull. i really needed that after yesterday. thanks universe.
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