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thebrokenarrowsi can't shake the feeling of anguish and guilt from my dream last night. as in waking life, nothing was really my fault, but everything i did came with an intense feeling of worry and dread. like i said, kinda like real life.
hello, october. be good to me. fill me with the darkness. i'll use it to empower me.
i'm feeling the coyote, the monster, every time the cold creeps in. it's still staying mostly at bay, but every so often i'll feel a tendril of cold and the autumn creeps up my bones. i should draw it.
i wanted a bowl of count chocula to start the month off, buuuut we have no milk. so it's mac and cheese, and maybe some pumpkin spice coffee. with bailey's creamer. -w-
i'm still not sure what's caused my heart palpitations, but i suspect my manager was right, that it was anxiety. i haven't felt a single one since i've been home for a few days. i'm worried that it's also... like exertion? that's causing it? i feel so terribly weak when they happen. like i'm sick and any random thing could just kill me somehow. and then... it would be my fault because i didn't work out enough? lmao. the anxiety works in terrible ways.
today i'm going to clean up a bit. open up my altar for the holiest month of the year. i need to make sure and ask my GM about getting off for Samhain.
hello, october. be good to me. fill me with the darkness. i'll use it to empower me.
i'm feeling the coyote, the monster, every time the cold creeps in. it's still staying mostly at bay, but every so often i'll feel a tendril of cold and the autumn creeps up my bones. i should draw it.
i wanted a bowl of count chocula to start the month off, buuuut we have no milk. so it's mac and cheese, and maybe some pumpkin spice coffee. with bailey's creamer. -w-
i'm still not sure what's caused my heart palpitations, but i suspect my manager was right, that it was anxiety. i haven't felt a single one since i've been home for a few days. i'm worried that it's also... like exertion? that's causing it? i feel so terribly weak when they happen. like i'm sick and any random thing could just kill me somehow. and then... it would be my fault because i didn't work out enough? lmao. the anxiety works in terrible ways.
today i'm going to clean up a bit. open up my altar for the holiest month of the year. i need to make sure and ask my GM about getting off for Samhain.
