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can't believe the year is nearly nine months old now wowwee
so anyway, bird left today for a 4-5 day camping trip. figured I'd try to update daily or something on here at least while that's going on, give her something to read so she knows what i've been up to, and it's an excuse to update more frequently in general yes.
headspace has been... distant on the whole. i never like these phases but they happen. just as long as it gets back to me soon because the trip is only a month away [plus two days :3] and i want everything flexed and running smooth by then. been seeing a surprising amount of Apostrophe lately actually, of all people. she does like to front much more than her sister does though. i don't like that the most system activity happens while i'm at work, work sucks and it's a shitty atmosphere and it makes things harder as well as easier.
my wrist is acting up super bad, it's actually painful to type this entry. it barely bends at all without pain and it's really swollen. i'm not sure what aggravated it, it hasn't had an episode of irritation like this in so many months that i thought it might finally be healed. but i know it's not realy healed and it won't be until i have a professional look at it, if ever. i can't put weight on my left hand the same as my right, i have to turn my palm outward now to put weight on it or else it's painful and aggravates it the way it is now. but i found my brace so i can go to work alright. i know it isn't carpal tunnel, it's some ligament or tendon related irritation that recurs along the inside and back of my wrist. i should really see a chiropractor. and a dentist. and... ya know. get health coverage somehow magically. :V but the good news is that it used to be like this ALL the time and this is one of like three times it's had an episode all year. so.
next three shifts are gonna be... easier and harder? easier because i don't have to worry about checking my phone. don't take that the wrong way, because harder = there's nothing to check my phone for. actually i won't even care what time i take my break tonight at all tbh, i'll be a pushover when it comes to that because i won't have anyone to talk to, bird's out of range and bb's gonna be at work until past my break window tonight. so whatever i guess?? just eat quietly and talk to headspace or internet. it's ok. sunday will be extra weird cuz i'll be off work but still no bird around. but these camping trips get way easier with time. somehow it's so much easier knowing that she knows how i feel about her lmao. back when i thought she didn't know and didn't WANT to know, it ached so bad.
today i went out in the park and walked around and watched tiny fishu swim in the shallow water and watched butterflies eating mud and fighting over good mud eating spots and caught a big fat red baby toad and found a very beautiful freshly dead cicada. i didn't spend as much time there as i wanted and it was just hot and muggy and sweaty, but i'm still glad i went. i'm really ready for fall though. hoping for some excellent prime fall weather for the week of the utah trip.
ahhh. now i remember what i wanted to do with the rest of my evening. yes. gonna listen to some music for a bit and maybe draw.
so anyway, bird left today for a 4-5 day camping trip. figured I'd try to update daily or something on here at least while that's going on, give her something to read so she knows what i've been up to, and it's an excuse to update more frequently in general yes.
headspace has been... distant on the whole. i never like these phases but they happen. just as long as it gets back to me soon because the trip is only a month away [plus two days :3] and i want everything flexed and running smooth by then. been seeing a surprising amount of Apostrophe lately actually, of all people. she does like to front much more than her sister does though. i don't like that the most system activity happens while i'm at work, work sucks and it's a shitty atmosphere and it makes things harder as well as easier.
my wrist is acting up super bad, it's actually painful to type this entry. it barely bends at all without pain and it's really swollen. i'm not sure what aggravated it, it hasn't had an episode of irritation like this in so many months that i thought it might finally be healed. but i know it's not realy healed and it won't be until i have a professional look at it, if ever. i can't put weight on my left hand the same as my right, i have to turn my palm outward now to put weight on it or else it's painful and aggravates it the way it is now. but i found my brace so i can go to work alright. i know it isn't carpal tunnel, it's some ligament or tendon related irritation that recurs along the inside and back of my wrist. i should really see a chiropractor. and a dentist. and... ya know. get health coverage somehow magically. :V but the good news is that it used to be like this ALL the time and this is one of like three times it's had an episode all year. so.
next three shifts are gonna be... easier and harder? easier because i don't have to worry about checking my phone. don't take that the wrong way, because harder = there's nothing to check my phone for. actually i won't even care what time i take my break tonight at all tbh, i'll be a pushover when it comes to that because i won't have anyone to talk to, bird's out of range and bb's gonna be at work until past my break window tonight. so whatever i guess?? just eat quietly and talk to headspace or internet. it's ok. sunday will be extra weird cuz i'll be off work but still no bird around. but these camping trips get way easier with time. somehow it's so much easier knowing that she knows how i feel about her lmao. back when i thought she didn't know and didn't WANT to know, it ached so bad.
today i went out in the park and walked around and watched tiny fishu swim in the shallow water and watched butterflies eating mud and fighting over good mud eating spots and caught a big fat red baby toad and found a very beautiful freshly dead cicada. i didn't spend as much time there as i wanted and it was just hot and muggy and sweaty, but i'm still glad i went. i'm really ready for fall though. hoping for some excellent prime fall weather for the week of the utah trip.
ahhh. now i remember what i wanted to do with the rest of my evening. yes. gonna listen to some music for a bit and maybe draw.
