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don't know what to write really. just feel like i should keep writing every day like i have been.
thoughts on work:
i keep getting these five consecutive shift stunts, and it sucks. i'm working over 40 hours in this calendar week. [only like 25-30 during the work week, they do weds-weds instead of sun-sun] the upside is that i get three days off in a row, but i almost think i would prefer one or two days on, one or two days off, like before. by the fifth night in a row i'm drained and my patience with customers or anything is very short.
i need to move on. and that will be easier with bb now being employed. not only do i feel less panicked about starting out in a new place, but if bad stuff happens and somehow i end up jobless, ONE of us still has a job. where before if i lost my job neither of us had income.
but like i've probably said before, i'm hesitant to start an earnest new job search. because while the work itself sucks and i don't enjoy it, this is the first place where i've LIKED and been able to TRUST most of my coworkers and bosses. like WOW amazing. every other job has been a place of constant fear. but when i walk in, if i feel tense, it's only because i can tell it is going to be a tough day of work, or they're clearly already behind, etc. not because i expect to get yelled at or written up the moment i walk in the door, like at my past two jobs. it's really REALLY nice to have a somewhat sane workplace for once.
but, see... my job still sucks, but i'm scared to jump out of the frying pan, into the fire. i could start a new job and it turns out to be just like my first two jobs all over again. but see, that's why it's really good for bb to be employed! so if really bad shit happens, there's a chance i can just quit and start again. a small chance, but i need that safety net.
thoughts on technology:
i really really reeeeally need a new laptop already. i'm glad to have my smartphone and tablet so i can keep tabs on the internet and such, and still use it for all the useful stuff like googling and references and such, but like... all of my projects and things are on hold until i have a proper PC again. i can't save or upload images properly, i can't post art properly, i can't browse a lot of my favorite sites properly, i certainly can't type like i am right now, which is a big part of my internet usage, i can't do digital art... and less importantly, i can't play any games. the moment i get $450ish i'm zooming up to best buy. i really hope... they still have that same deal that they had in july LOL?? they probably won't. but i want one of those deal packages like the $370ish one that i wanted. and also a graphics tablet.
because i'm planning to get properly started on digital art when i get my new laptop. i'm sure i can get a copy of photoshop from my sister, but even if i don't, there's endless free art programs, so i don't care. openCanvas, SAI, etc.
thoughts on [other] work:
i had to call out from my volunteer job today because my job has been deeming it necessary to work me earlier and earlier. i am working 7:30pm-5am today. freakin' ridiculous.
i really like my volunteer job but it's kind of a pain to get there these days? i'm really only holding onto it for the opportunity to get hired there at the pet store. it's retail but it's working with ANIMALS and i really really want to get my foot in the door for that kind of career. i will take anything with animals at this point, anything. like i clean up cat shit now for free, why not get paid to do it?
thoughts on music:
god pompeii is fantastic. so catchy and it's actually kinda about pompeii, which is one of my pet interests as far as historical events. this entire album by Bastille is super nice. i really like the pounding, catchy rhythm that it tends to have. kinda like patrick wolf in parts, and sometimes kinda like the best parts of classic 80s pop ballads. i am so spoiled by indie music and its utterly random or artistic titles though, that when i hear the exact title of the song in the chorus of the song, i feel a little disappointed/bored. LOL
thoughts on art:
headspace NEEDS to come out more. be developed more. it's already developed way more than i know, it's just that i can't lay it out right now and see it clearly. which is why i need a PC. for two big reasons. to do art with - i love traditional media and will keep doing it but there's a lot that i can't do with it that headspace needs - and to type up thoughts and such like i'm doing now, but more organized and less likely to die on me.
and i will start using dA again, maybe some other sites and stuff too. it'd be really great to start having an art community again, friends and stuff to trade with. yet ANOTHER reason i need a PC: communication. i can't use skype or anything on this computer and skype chat on tablet/phone is nearly impossible unless you want to use voice/video.
alrighty. think i'm gonna finish this and try to make myself do some art. :3
thoughts on work:
i keep getting these five consecutive shift stunts, and it sucks. i'm working over 40 hours in this calendar week. [only like 25-30 during the work week, they do weds-weds instead of sun-sun] the upside is that i get three days off in a row, but i almost think i would prefer one or two days on, one or two days off, like before. by the fifth night in a row i'm drained and my patience with customers or anything is very short.
i need to move on. and that will be easier with bb now being employed. not only do i feel less panicked about starting out in a new place, but if bad stuff happens and somehow i end up jobless, ONE of us still has a job. where before if i lost my job neither of us had income.
but like i've probably said before, i'm hesitant to start an earnest new job search. because while the work itself sucks and i don't enjoy it, this is the first place where i've LIKED and been able to TRUST most of my coworkers and bosses. like WOW amazing. every other job has been a place of constant fear. but when i walk in, if i feel tense, it's only because i can tell it is going to be a tough day of work, or they're clearly already behind, etc. not because i expect to get yelled at or written up the moment i walk in the door, like at my past two jobs. it's really REALLY nice to have a somewhat sane workplace for once.
but, see... my job still sucks, but i'm scared to jump out of the frying pan, into the fire. i could start a new job and it turns out to be just like my first two jobs all over again. but see, that's why it's really good for bb to be employed! so if really bad shit happens, there's a chance i can just quit and start again. a small chance, but i need that safety net.
thoughts on technology:
i really really reeeeally need a new laptop already. i'm glad to have my smartphone and tablet so i can keep tabs on the internet and such, and still use it for all the useful stuff like googling and references and such, but like... all of my projects and things are on hold until i have a proper PC again. i can't save or upload images properly, i can't post art properly, i can't browse a lot of my favorite sites properly, i certainly can't type like i am right now, which is a big part of my internet usage, i can't do digital art... and less importantly, i can't play any games. the moment i get $450ish i'm zooming up to best buy. i really hope... they still have that same deal that they had in july LOL?? they probably won't. but i want one of those deal packages like the $370ish one that i wanted. and also a graphics tablet.
because i'm planning to get properly started on digital art when i get my new laptop. i'm sure i can get a copy of photoshop from my sister, but even if i don't, there's endless free art programs, so i don't care. openCanvas, SAI, etc.
thoughts on [other] work:
i had to call out from my volunteer job today because my job has been deeming it necessary to work me earlier and earlier. i am working 7:30pm-5am today. freakin' ridiculous.
i really like my volunteer job but it's kind of a pain to get there these days? i'm really only holding onto it for the opportunity to get hired there at the pet store. it's retail but it's working with ANIMALS and i really really want to get my foot in the door for that kind of career. i will take anything with animals at this point, anything. like i clean up cat shit now for free, why not get paid to do it?
thoughts on music:
god pompeii is fantastic. so catchy and it's actually kinda about pompeii, which is one of my pet interests as far as historical events. this entire album by Bastille is super nice. i really like the pounding, catchy rhythm that it tends to have. kinda like patrick wolf in parts, and sometimes kinda like the best parts of classic 80s pop ballads. i am so spoiled by indie music and its utterly random or artistic titles though, that when i hear the exact title of the song in the chorus of the song, i feel a little disappointed/bored. LOL
thoughts on art:
headspace NEEDS to come out more. be developed more. it's already developed way more than i know, it's just that i can't lay it out right now and see it clearly. which is why i need a PC. for two big reasons. to do art with - i love traditional media and will keep doing it but there's a lot that i can't do with it that headspace needs - and to type up thoughts and such like i'm doing now, but more organized and less likely to die on me.
and i will start using dA again, maybe some other sites and stuff too. it'd be really great to start having an art community again, friends and stuff to trade with. yet ANOTHER reason i need a PC: communication. i can't use skype or anything on this computer and skype chat on tablet/phone is nearly impossible unless you want to use voice/video.
alrighty. think i'm gonna finish this and try to make myself do some art. :3
