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thebrokenarrowsgoing to bed at a decent time. put away all the art supplies i had out [was making art!], brushed my teeth, used my bubblegum mouthwash, washed my hands so now they smell good. mason put away all the blankets that we had out, because otherwise murphy will tear them up with his teeth overnight. i'm learning something i should have learned as a very young child, but didn't: to put things away once you are done with them.
when i'm done watching this last video on here, i am going to take the hardest step: to close my laptop, not turn it off, but close it and put it somewhere off the surface of the table. so the table is clean and free of things on it. for trauma reasons, it's very hard for me to not have a screen on and available within my line of sight at all times. but it's been a long time. it's time to try and step out of that traumagenic comfort item.
yesterday i moved the computer from its 'designated spot' [aka where i sit for hours and become stagnant and depressive most days], and spent hours in the playroom [a room i don't use as much as i should, it's full of good stuff, stim toys and games]. it was really good. i had a lovely time. but i realized the solution was not to sit there all day every day, no. the solution is to make myself more plastic. so today i cleaned all the junk off my table and put my art supplies somewhere easily accessible and not out of sight [if things are out of sight, i forget they're there and never use them, but if they're within arms reach, they become clutter... it's so hard to find a medium], and made the table clean and accessible for whatever we want. soon we should get some chairs that won't break. specfically some chairs with relatively high backs and heavy, cuz those are the best ones for making blanket forts.
proud of me today. i will say nothing about the future, that never works out in my favor. but as for today, and yesterday, i feel quite good about my habits.
when i'm done watching this last video on here, i am going to take the hardest step: to close my laptop, not turn it off, but close it and put it somewhere off the surface of the table. so the table is clean and free of things on it. for trauma reasons, it's very hard for me to not have a screen on and available within my line of sight at all times. but it's been a long time. it's time to try and step out of that traumagenic comfort item.
yesterday i moved the computer from its 'designated spot' [aka where i sit for hours and become stagnant and depressive most days], and spent hours in the playroom [a room i don't use as much as i should, it's full of good stuff, stim toys and games]. it was really good. i had a lovely time. but i realized the solution was not to sit there all day every day, no. the solution is to make myself more plastic. so today i cleaned all the junk off my table and put my art supplies somewhere easily accessible and not out of sight [if things are out of sight, i forget they're there and never use them, but if they're within arms reach, they become clutter... it's so hard to find a medium], and made the table clean and accessible for whatever we want. soon we should get some chairs that won't break. specfically some chairs with relatively high backs and heavy, cuz those are the best ones for making blanket forts.
proud of me today. i will say nothing about the future, that never works out in my favor. but as for today, and yesterday, i feel quite good about my habits.
