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last night i stayed up late skyping with Roane and it was great and we skyped again as soon as i woke up today and yesss. lots of talking with friend. lots of sharing. lots of headspace talk. very good for me. gonna be putting stuff together to send to her as soon as i can get a box and have scribbled sufficient brain-puke onto some pages to give her.
it's time i talked about Hiro. yep. so yeah it looks like we are getting another fictive????? rly weird man. i thought we were done with this after Hiccup happened last summer, but two days ago i just started googling pictures of him and made a mii of him on tomodachi life. and at work he couldn't leave my brain. and every time i interacted with computers i started feeling that fizzle in the back of my head. and it clicked. and i SWORE LOUDLY. because jesus christ. i thought we were done with this fictive stuff @_@ BUT APPARENTLY NOT. i guess the System sees a reason for Hiro to be here.
went and re-watched the movie yesterday because it was still in the theater [first time i saw it was a few days after xmas]. Roane said "the second time will wake him", that stuck with me. i'm not sure it woke him fully, but that wasn't really the point of going. the point was refreshing our memory, remembering who we're dealing with here. [also because it's a Fucking Good Movie. and i would definitely go see it a third time if the chance came my way.]
he's here alright. still half-dreaming, only partially lucid. maybe i'll take him to target, let him wander a bit. that's what we did with Hiccup when he was first "born". fictives are so much more emotional, so much more personal than most other headpeople in here, because i almost never get to see them born into lucidity, watch them manifest the way I did with Hiccup and now this one, too. but at least now I know what to expect a little bit, and i can help him out a little. today we listened to a lot of electronic and synthpop type music and Hiro stirred a lot at that stuff. seems like his kind of deal. i can already tell he'll be involved with the City. and that's okay. as long as i don't lose him there.
Hiccup's doing a lot of helping, too. partially because that's just who he is and partially because he's fascinated by this. by no longer being the odd one out, the weird one without ken, not native. i expect they'll probably be fast friends. almost like brothers. i never imagined i'd meet someone smaller and scrawnier than Hiccup was at 15, but... here we are. :v
so yeah. new head dude happening it seems. i will update with how it goes.
i stayed up waaaay too late last night, but my mind opened up and i scribbled like crazy. like i said, drawing tons of headspace stuff [both mine and Roane's] to send her way eventually. this was after watching Over the Garden Wall with her for a couple hours. that was pretty good. pretty spooky, pretty strong Ghibli influence there which is never a bad thing. i'm glad little kids get to watch spooky shit like this that will stay with them. but anyway the drawing reminded me of what i used to do, which really is what i NEED to do. is just draw. just put pencil to paper and just scribble any and everything that comes to mind. every imagery, whether i think i 'can draw' it or not. it doesn't have to look good. that's where ideas come from and evolve. i gotta put it down even if it's not pretty.
on an outside note: we are looking at a rental house tomorrow. i really really dunno if we can afford it with our budget, the rent alone is on the top of our price range, and then include our other bills, groceries, utilities, gas... i honestly don't know. but i REALLY want this to happen. this is the best lead we've got yet. every apartment that we can afford is taken if in a nice area, or open and in the ghetto/scary parts of town and i'd really rather not hike my anxiety levels any higher than they already are all the time. this little tiny house has two bedrooms and it's super super nice. in downtown but not the bad parts of town. right near the hospital. please please please let this work. ;^; we get to go and check it out for free, with no one even guiding us, we just had to put 99 cents in the account which we'll get back afterward, very cool. please let this work, please let bb find a second job so that we can maybe afford this. this seems like a really great chance for us if we can just swing it. i'm very hopeful and anxious.
alright so i think i'm gonna get dressed and take Hiro to target or something. maybe get him a small anchor if possible. and then go home and watch httyd2 with Hiccup. just spendin time with my weird friends today.
it's time i talked about Hiro. yep. so yeah it looks like we are getting another fictive????? rly weird man. i thought we were done with this after Hiccup happened last summer, but two days ago i just started googling pictures of him and made a mii of him on tomodachi life. and at work he couldn't leave my brain. and every time i interacted with computers i started feeling that fizzle in the back of my head. and it clicked. and i SWORE LOUDLY. because jesus christ. i thought we were done with this fictive stuff @_@ BUT APPARENTLY NOT. i guess the System sees a reason for Hiro to be here.
went and re-watched the movie yesterday because it was still in the theater [first time i saw it was a few days after xmas]. Roane said "the second time will wake him", that stuck with me. i'm not sure it woke him fully, but that wasn't really the point of going. the point was refreshing our memory, remembering who we're dealing with here. [also because it's a Fucking Good Movie. and i would definitely go see it a third time if the chance came my way.]
he's here alright. still half-dreaming, only partially lucid. maybe i'll take him to target, let him wander a bit. that's what we did with Hiccup when he was first "born". fictives are so much more emotional, so much more personal than most other headpeople in here, because i almost never get to see them born into lucidity, watch them manifest the way I did with Hiccup and now this one, too. but at least now I know what to expect a little bit, and i can help him out a little. today we listened to a lot of electronic and synthpop type music and Hiro stirred a lot at that stuff. seems like his kind of deal. i can already tell he'll be involved with the City. and that's okay. as long as i don't lose him there.
Hiccup's doing a lot of helping, too. partially because that's just who he is and partially because he's fascinated by this. by no longer being the odd one out, the weird one without ken, not native. i expect they'll probably be fast friends. almost like brothers. i never imagined i'd meet someone smaller and scrawnier than Hiccup was at 15, but... here we are. :v
so yeah. new head dude happening it seems. i will update with how it goes.
i stayed up waaaay too late last night, but my mind opened up and i scribbled like crazy. like i said, drawing tons of headspace stuff [both mine and Roane's] to send her way eventually. this was after watching Over the Garden Wall with her for a couple hours. that was pretty good. pretty spooky, pretty strong Ghibli influence there which is never a bad thing. i'm glad little kids get to watch spooky shit like this that will stay with them. but anyway the drawing reminded me of what i used to do, which really is what i NEED to do. is just draw. just put pencil to paper and just scribble any and everything that comes to mind. every imagery, whether i think i 'can draw' it or not. it doesn't have to look good. that's where ideas come from and evolve. i gotta put it down even if it's not pretty.
on an outside note: we are looking at a rental house tomorrow. i really really dunno if we can afford it with our budget, the rent alone is on the top of our price range, and then include our other bills, groceries, utilities, gas... i honestly don't know. but i REALLY want this to happen. this is the best lead we've got yet. every apartment that we can afford is taken if in a nice area, or open and in the ghetto/scary parts of town and i'd really rather not hike my anxiety levels any higher than they already are all the time. this little tiny house has two bedrooms and it's super super nice. in downtown but not the bad parts of town. right near the hospital. please please please let this work. ;^; we get to go and check it out for free, with no one even guiding us, we just had to put 99 cents in the account which we'll get back afterward, very cool. please let this work, please let bb find a second job so that we can maybe afford this. this seems like a really great chance for us if we can just swing it. i'm very hopeful and anxious.
alright so i think i'm gonna get dressed and take Hiro to target or something. maybe get him a small anchor if possible. and then go home and watch httyd2 with Hiccup. just spendin time with my weird friends today.
