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thebrokenarrowsfinally looked at that place we've been trying to look at for a couple days and... no. just no. at least they were honest and showed us the apartment we'd be renting, which looked REALLY rough. it had just been involved in a fire. scary. like i know it would be wax better when we'd actually be moving in, but... it looked really bad even without the fire damage. the guy was kinda embarassed showing us parts of it. i won't even go into detail but let's just say this would be a.... not THE WORST last resort ever, but definitely a last resort. kinda big, two floors and due to the fire, lots of stuff would be brand new/remodeled, but just... no. i did not get a good vibe from that place at all and i'd much rather pay a quarter of the rent to live with friends up in the city, and not have to worry about being out on the street should i be unable to pay rent for ONE month, which seems to be their policy. that kinda thing would make me even more reluctant to take care of myself [i.e. doctor visits] than i already am.
just. eegh. i'm sure it's abundantly clear but this stuff has me so stressed out and pretty depressed. i just have to focus on the future. this ordeal will pass and life will settle down. this isn't going to be another case of the move every three months again. unless shit gets really crazy anyway. i'm really scared of that.
my outer life is sucking but inner life is pretty well flourishing, for once. which is nice. Hiccup got to talk to his 'twin' in the House of Leaves today and yesterday. very cool. they hadn't talked since last summer when they first woke up. seems like they are, as one would expect, extremely similar as always hahah. my Hiccup seems to be a little bit perkier though, but that too seems to be similar to the last time they talked. HoL!Hiccup seems to be a little bit older and went through a lot more rough stuff before coming to headspace, moreso than mine seemed to.
idk. gonna get up really early and drop my car off at the mechanic. tried to do it today but they were just too busy. but on the way home it tried to stall on me so i know i can't put it off any longer. i want to like go out and eat but i don't want to take my car anywhere until i take it to get fixed honestly, it's very unhappy... i swear it's like it knows. it was fine until we left the mechanic without getting any work done, then it started bumping like no tomorrow, RPMs going below 500 when I stopped... crazy. the ghost in the machine. [that's not really what that phrase means but it's always what it makes me think of. machines that act alive somehow]
i dunno. bb's going to a surprise party tomorrow, so i'll be alone most of the day. i guess it's ok but being that his days living with me are going to be numbered possibly until after his birthday... blugh. [i just realized that if we do move in where i think we most likely will, i will be moving around my sister's 21st birthday. how 'bout that.]
just. eegh. i'm sure it's abundantly clear but this stuff has me so stressed out and pretty depressed. i just have to focus on the future. this ordeal will pass and life will settle down. this isn't going to be another case of the move every three months again. unless shit gets really crazy anyway. i'm really scared of that.
my outer life is sucking but inner life is pretty well flourishing, for once. which is nice. Hiccup got to talk to his 'twin' in the House of Leaves today and yesterday. very cool. they hadn't talked since last summer when they first woke up. seems like they are, as one would expect, extremely similar as always hahah. my Hiccup seems to be a little bit perkier though, but that too seems to be similar to the last time they talked. HoL!Hiccup seems to be a little bit older and went through a lot more rough stuff before coming to headspace, moreso than mine seemed to.
idk. gonna get up really early and drop my car off at the mechanic. tried to do it today but they were just too busy. but on the way home it tried to stall on me so i know i can't put it off any longer. i want to like go out and eat but i don't want to take my car anywhere until i take it to get fixed honestly, it's very unhappy... i swear it's like it knows. it was fine until we left the mechanic without getting any work done, then it started bumping like no tomorrow, RPMs going below 500 when I stopped... crazy. the ghost in the machine. [that's not really what that phrase means but it's always what it makes me think of. machines that act alive somehow]
i dunno. bb's going to a surprise party tomorrow, so i'll be alone most of the day. i guess it's ok but being that his days living with me are going to be numbered possibly until after his birthday... blugh. [i just realized that if we do move in where i think we most likely will, i will be moving around my sister's 21st birthday. how 'bout that.]
