T. B. A. S.

listening to this Fanfarlo album was a good idea. anything about space, about stars and cells and science, brings home Kyo immediately. i feel like we need her more than we know. i feel like she is a very important keyholder when it comes to art.

I think of us when we were molecules
Sleeping in the dark and like a loaded gun
Waiting for reactions to occur
Planted like a seed into the ground
It grew the strangest flower...

she's there. she's in the past, and in the future. she's so instrumental to our System and i'm not sure she even knows it.

Will we ever see life in the sky?
And maybe recognize ourselves in it
'Cause look into our eyes and you will see
A stranger far away from home

non-photo blue is her color. that bright shade of blue on white with grey stripes. green eyes. seeing her feels like coming home even now.

Things that grow out of the ground
Must some day believe they're real
Each little cog sticks to the next
How can it be that they're alive?

Out of nothing, making something like yourself
Making patterns like a galaxy of cells
If these interactions or these consequences don't
Approximate it quite to make some kind of soul

We have a contract yes we have each other's backs
We made a promise but one day we'll fall apart

Until the world gets tired of looking at itself
We have a place, a fighting chance
While the chemicals keep up their dance

I see my own reflection in the things that fall apart
Someday little weeds will shoot out right through my heart
It's the only future we'll ever have

[a note: these are all from various songs. just lines that were redolent of headspace and of Kyo herself.]

If it's everywhere, and it's all the time,
Don't you know that it's all there if you want it, still?
It swallows its own tail

We took a bite and we'll spit it out
Time will eat itself

that last one rings very strongly of Nostalgia, with a capital N. meaning a very particular nostalgia. namely, the incessant need we've all felt since 2009 to return to the old home, which of course isn't possible. on the very rare occasion we can make our way over there and retrace childhood wanderings, but the time of living there is over. but that, my loves, is what Archives are for.

tomorrow we're going to use our gift cards, going out to O'Charley's for lunch and then going to see Big Hero 6. i look forward to it. after that i finally return to work after my longest break in many months, and i'm sure the longest one for many more.
'Cause its clear the wheels have turned
We're standing in the way of ourselves
Yes it's clear the world
will go on without us
And the dust will rearrange itself

Who'll take our place?
Be the new us?
I wanna know . . .