pa-pa-power
Aug. 16th, 2015 10:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thebrokenarrowsI'm Oliver.
I'm a witch. An atheistic pagan witch who worships dirt and trees and gods that exist in the mind but that have indomitable power. I shake and bend and burn to get my subconscious where it needs to go. I'm superstitious and I know it's all ultimately horseshit and I do it anyway because belief WORKS. Being a religious person with reverence everywhere and within me even totally without belief in outside gods is power.
I'm transgender. A femme-y trans boy with a rounded chest and big gorgeous hips and luscious thick thighs. These things will shift and change when I become more who I want to be, but I love my body and I love the feminine energy I was born with and the more I accept my male gender the more I feel and embrace this feminine power.
I'm queer. I no longer have a concept of someone being excluded from my attraction by gender alone. I have a type, sure, and the type can be summed up in one word - genderbender - LOL but I love boys and girls and girlboys and boygirls and others and whoever I want. It's a very freeing power.
I'm romantic. A hopeless romantic and I'm learning to embrace and love this aspect of myself. Learning that people don't hate my attention and in fact often enjoy it. Learning to find and respect the line instead of giving it the widest possible berth. Learning to see myself in a better light via improving my concept of how others think of me. And that my friends is power.
I'm polyamorous. It's natural to me and I've learned this. I can and do fall in love with multiple people and there is no shame, no guilt, no lies between anyone. I just went semi public about my second relationship and I'm so happy about it. I'm sharing myself with different people and they reflect myself back at me differently, and getting inside their heads just makes me fall more in love with each of them. This is real happiness and trueness to myself. This is my power.
I'm an artist. It splits my mind endlessly into more people and beings than I can count and I love each one of them. I tell their stories. I'm drawing more than I have in ages and it feels so good. It's what I was meant to do, to tell stories and create. I feel it in my bones. It's my true self and it's power.
If I could speak to myself from seven years ago - and if I try hard enough, I basically can - I'd tell him that power is not something to be afraid of. It's not something above your status. Not something you don't deserve. Not something evil that people only want because they're human and that being human is somehow innately evil because we're all "control freaks". YOU control your own life. You have to desire control and keep it that way. It's not only human but healthy. Feeling in control of your own life is essential for emotional health. There is no wrong or shame in that. I am finding my power and radiating my own self out from that center of power. And it makes me strong and true and let's be honest: drop dead sexy.
I'm a witch. An atheistic pagan witch who worships dirt and trees and gods that exist in the mind but that have indomitable power. I shake and bend and burn to get my subconscious where it needs to go. I'm superstitious and I know it's all ultimately horseshit and I do it anyway because belief WORKS. Being a religious person with reverence everywhere and within me even totally without belief in outside gods is power.
I'm transgender. A femme-y trans boy with a rounded chest and big gorgeous hips and luscious thick thighs. These things will shift and change when I become more who I want to be, but I love my body and I love the feminine energy I was born with and the more I accept my male gender the more I feel and embrace this feminine power.
I'm queer. I no longer have a concept of someone being excluded from my attraction by gender alone. I have a type, sure, and the type can be summed up in one word - genderbender - LOL but I love boys and girls and girlboys and boygirls and others and whoever I want. It's a very freeing power.
I'm romantic. A hopeless romantic and I'm learning to embrace and love this aspect of myself. Learning that people don't hate my attention and in fact often enjoy it. Learning to find and respect the line instead of giving it the widest possible berth. Learning to see myself in a better light via improving my concept of how others think of me. And that my friends is power.
I'm polyamorous. It's natural to me and I've learned this. I can and do fall in love with multiple people and there is no shame, no guilt, no lies between anyone. I just went semi public about my second relationship and I'm so happy about it. I'm sharing myself with different people and they reflect myself back at me differently, and getting inside their heads just makes me fall more in love with each of them. This is real happiness and trueness to myself. This is my power.
I'm an artist. It splits my mind endlessly into more people and beings than I can count and I love each one of them. I tell their stories. I'm drawing more than I have in ages and it feels so good. It's what I was meant to do, to tell stories and create. I feel it in my bones. It's my true self and it's power.
If I could speak to myself from seven years ago - and if I try hard enough, I basically can - I'd tell him that power is not something to be afraid of. It's not something above your status. Not something you don't deserve. Not something evil that people only want because they're human and that being human is somehow innately evil because we're all "control freaks". YOU control your own life. You have to desire control and keep it that way. It's not only human but healthy. Feeling in control of your own life is essential for emotional health. There is no wrong or shame in that. I am finding my power and radiating my own self out from that center of power. And it makes me strong and true and let's be honest: drop dead sexy.
