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thebrokenarrowsWHOOP didn't update for a few days. actually kind of a good reason for that BECAUSE:
slowly started packing on saturday, got my books packed up, then about an hour before i had to go to work stepdad came in and said he wanted us to move half the room so he could tear up the floor. like, right then. when i was already tired from packing up the bookshelf and about to go into the worst night of the week. like... wellp. so that happened and i was freaking out of my mind tired at work. and then yesterday, sunday, we moved the other half of the room and got officially moved out and such. so sunday morning was my last night sleeping in that room.
they tore up my bedframe. the one i've had since i was 11. has the names of old loves and long gone headmates scratched into the headboard. i knew it was coming but i'm still sad about it. and it rained today and i just watched the headboard outside get ruined and it made me sad. i'm a sentimental thing. this morning when i got home from work i took the hooks out from the wood, the ones i screwed in years ago by hand. so at least i have that.
so yeah now we're in this little room for a while. it's very tiny. less than half the size of the old room. other than the size and the weird smell in here it's ok. i can deal with it for 6 weeks. even if i have to spend 2 or 3 of them alone ugh. because bb still has to be gone by the 28th for... some reason... i still don't understand why he has to move out two weeks before i do like it makes a difference at all... who knows all i know is soon i'll be done dealing with all of this poop and instead i get to deal with the poop of leasing offices and such :v
arty seems to rather like the new room. even though he was very stressed out and confused yesterday and we left the house for a bit to escape the sound of my bedframe being shredded [we went to Red Bowl and got SO MUCH goddamn sushi it was glorious], and when we came home and opened the door he was SO happy and opened his wings and made kissy faces at me with his neck stretched out and let out the most loud and heartfelt "PRETTY BIRDDDD" that i've ever heard. im cry it was so sweet. baby ;^; but now today he is climbing all over everywhere, climbed in my jewelry box and rustled around all of the necklaces. and discovered THE CLOSET. oh my god i forgot how much he loves closets. he's had one for all of like 6 months of the time he's lived with me. and he LOVES to climb around in the hangers and nest in the necks of jackets and omg. it's so fucking cute. makes clucking chicken noises and lasers and. baby bird. i love him so much. my feather son.
uhhh what else. wORK KEEPS HAPPENING i'm finally off tomorrow but it's gonna be just like last tuesday, where i don't get a whole lot of sleep because we gotta wake up early to go into charlotte. only this time it might be slightly worse LOL because i'm in this new room and so far i can not sleep at all in here. BUT... it'll be worth it. all these sleepless nights are worth it. going to sign the lease tomorrow. tomorrow i should officially have an apartment to my name. yessss.
last night i was feeling super freaking sentimental and shit idk. i was really tired and my brain felt like a void, not just empty space but like a big disconnect between my brain and my senses. it was hard to focus on hearing or sight. and my connection to headspace was really really tenuous so i had to front pretty much alone the whole time, although i could at least hear and interact with the others some. but i made it through work anyway somehow.
but late last night i sent Bird like this big looong heartfelt text hahaha. idk i have just been feeling like i'm too clingy and been self conscious about texting people too much and getting on their nerves or pushing them away somehow. and i have no idea if it's at all based in fact or just my brain telling me lies or... idk at all. so i just wanted her to know that she's not obligated to talk to me if she doesn't have anything to say. i was just having all these feels about getting animals to trust me, what a learning experience that was for me. learning as i grew older to reach out to touch and not to grab hold. reaching out to be met halfway. that's how you earn the trust of a wild thing. idk i'm getting self conscious writing all this hahah. ugh i hope any of this makes sense. i'm SO SILLY help lots of stuff i want to say but don't even know how.
so yeah... been spending today slowly putting the room together. two thirds of my things are downstairs/packed up, because this is such a temporary arrangement it's pointless to get everything out and then put it back. so. i'm just glad i finally had a relatively normal and chilled out day because the last two or three have been SO busy and crazy. and tomorrow is a big day too. so for once i got to breathe today. and it's already almost over siiiggghhh. at least i work only until 5 [read: 5:30] and not 6 this week so i get 5 hours sleep instead of 4???? lol??? that is if i manage to fall asleep relatively quickly.
slowly started packing on saturday, got my books packed up, then about an hour before i had to go to work stepdad came in and said he wanted us to move half the room so he could tear up the floor. like, right then. when i was already tired from packing up the bookshelf and about to go into the worst night of the week. like... wellp. so that happened and i was freaking out of my mind tired at work. and then yesterday, sunday, we moved the other half of the room and got officially moved out and such. so sunday morning was my last night sleeping in that room.
they tore up my bedframe. the one i've had since i was 11. has the names of old loves and long gone headmates scratched into the headboard. i knew it was coming but i'm still sad about it. and it rained today and i just watched the headboard outside get ruined and it made me sad. i'm a sentimental thing. this morning when i got home from work i took the hooks out from the wood, the ones i screwed in years ago by hand. so at least i have that.
so yeah now we're in this little room for a while. it's very tiny. less than half the size of the old room. other than the size and the weird smell in here it's ok. i can deal with it for 6 weeks. even if i have to spend 2 or 3 of them alone ugh. because bb still has to be gone by the 28th for... some reason... i still don't understand why he has to move out two weeks before i do like it makes a difference at all... who knows all i know is soon i'll be done dealing with all of this poop and instead i get to deal with the poop of leasing offices and such :v
arty seems to rather like the new room. even though he was very stressed out and confused yesterday and we left the house for a bit to escape the sound of my bedframe being shredded [we went to Red Bowl and got SO MUCH goddamn sushi it was glorious], and when we came home and opened the door he was SO happy and opened his wings and made kissy faces at me with his neck stretched out and let out the most loud and heartfelt "PRETTY BIRDDDD" that i've ever heard. im cry it was so sweet. baby ;^; but now today he is climbing all over everywhere, climbed in my jewelry box and rustled around all of the necklaces. and discovered THE CLOSET. oh my god i forgot how much he loves closets. he's had one for all of like 6 months of the time he's lived with me. and he LOVES to climb around in the hangers and nest in the necks of jackets and omg. it's so fucking cute. makes clucking chicken noises and lasers and. baby bird. i love him so much. my feather son.
uhhh what else. wORK KEEPS HAPPENING i'm finally off tomorrow but it's gonna be just like last tuesday, where i don't get a whole lot of sleep because we gotta wake up early to go into charlotte. only this time it might be slightly worse LOL because i'm in this new room and so far i can not sleep at all in here. BUT... it'll be worth it. all these sleepless nights are worth it. going to sign the lease tomorrow. tomorrow i should officially have an apartment to my name. yessss.
last night i was feeling super freaking sentimental and shit idk. i was really tired and my brain felt like a void, not just empty space but like a big disconnect between my brain and my senses. it was hard to focus on hearing or sight. and my connection to headspace was really really tenuous so i had to front pretty much alone the whole time, although i could at least hear and interact with the others some. but i made it through work anyway somehow.
but late last night i sent Bird like this big looong heartfelt text hahaha. idk i have just been feeling like i'm too clingy and been self conscious about texting people too much and getting on their nerves or pushing them away somehow. and i have no idea if it's at all based in fact or just my brain telling me lies or... idk at all. so i just wanted her to know that she's not obligated to talk to me if she doesn't have anything to say. i was just having all these feels about getting animals to trust me, what a learning experience that was for me. learning as i grew older to reach out to touch and not to grab hold. reaching out to be met halfway. that's how you earn the trust of a wild thing. idk i'm getting self conscious writing all this hahah. ugh i hope any of this makes sense. i'm SO SILLY help lots of stuff i want to say but don't even know how.
so yeah... been spending today slowly putting the room together. two thirds of my things are downstairs/packed up, because this is such a temporary arrangement it's pointless to get everything out and then put it back. so. i'm just glad i finally had a relatively normal and chilled out day because the last two or three have been SO busy and crazy. and tomorrow is a big day too. so for once i got to breathe today. and it's already almost over siiiggghhh. at least i work only until 5 [read: 5:30] and not 6 this week so i get 5 hours sleep instead of 4???? lol??? that is if i manage to fall asleep relatively quickly.
