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thebrokenarrowsEvery day's an adventure when headspace is around. <3
Had a mild anxiety attack last night, didn't progress into full blown panic, but Hiccup was there and continuing in his attempts to break the automatic barriers or "doors that close" when I get nervous or stressed, managed to manhandle them partially open so he wasn't entirely locked out. He only partially succeeded for a while, then finally was able to get all the way through and proceeded to wrestle me for control of the front. Which normally sounds bad, but I was in a bad state of mind and he knew it.
At that time I had taken dragon shape in headspace, and... basically picture in your mind the scene from Spirited Away, when the dragon Haku has swallowed the poison seal and Chihiro is holding his jaws shut with her whole body to force him to swallow the medicine, while the dragon thrashes to get free... That's basically what happened, I was in a similar panicked, not all there state of mind and he was fighting for control and peace. I'm not sure why this paragraph is hard for me to get out correctly, it was an entirely positive situation minus the mental place I was in. In the end he won out and had me restrained for my own safety, with a sort of haphazard bridle that he'd shut my jaws with and pinned my muzzle to my neck in headspace. Sounds painful but my dragon shape can do this easily.
A while later, we found Hiro - curled up in the back with a sucker in his mouth. Sigh. I think he's going through much the same thing that Hiccup did in the beginning, getting past that 'this must be some weird kind of dream' stage and realizing that you're forever separated from the life you remember. What's more, his familial loss feels a whole lot more recent and un-healed than Hiccup's did when he first came. So we've had him near us since then, swaddled in a blanket in a comfy chair near the front. Watching, mostly quiet, although we did get him to talk a little early this morning. We had him watch some more of Hiccup's source material today, and he was quiet but mostly attentive. We'll just try to let him heal as best we can, and talk him through anything that comes up.
Not a lot happened today, just took a shower and my hair looks amazing now. :P Time for one more work shift, then finally the weekend. These five day weeks are rough man.
Had a mild anxiety attack last night, didn't progress into full blown panic, but Hiccup was there and continuing in his attempts to break the automatic barriers or "doors that close" when I get nervous or stressed, managed to manhandle them partially open so he wasn't entirely locked out. He only partially succeeded for a while, then finally was able to get all the way through and proceeded to wrestle me for control of the front. Which normally sounds bad, but I was in a bad state of mind and he knew it.
At that time I had taken dragon shape in headspace, and... basically picture in your mind the scene from Spirited Away, when the dragon Haku has swallowed the poison seal and Chihiro is holding his jaws shut with her whole body to force him to swallow the medicine, while the dragon thrashes to get free... That's basically what happened, I was in a similar panicked, not all there state of mind and he was fighting for control and peace. I'm not sure why this paragraph is hard for me to get out correctly, it was an entirely positive situation minus the mental place I was in. In the end he won out and had me restrained for my own safety, with a sort of haphazard bridle that he'd shut my jaws with and pinned my muzzle to my neck in headspace. Sounds painful but my dragon shape can do this easily.
A while later, we found Hiro - curled up in the back with a sucker in his mouth. Sigh. I think he's going through much the same thing that Hiccup did in the beginning, getting past that 'this must be some weird kind of dream' stage and realizing that you're forever separated from the life you remember. What's more, his familial loss feels a whole lot more recent and un-healed than Hiccup's did when he first came. So we've had him near us since then, swaddled in a blanket in a comfy chair near the front. Watching, mostly quiet, although we did get him to talk a little early this morning. We had him watch some more of Hiccup's source material today, and he was quiet but mostly attentive. We'll just try to let him heal as best we can, and talk him through anything that comes up.
Not a lot happened today, just took a shower and my hair looks amazing now. :P Time for one more work shift, then finally the weekend. These five day weeks are rough man.
