(no subject)
Oct. 21st, 2014 07:27 pmwoke up in much better spirits today. set an alarm for 8:30 because i ended up falling asleep around 10 or 11 last night, but - as is the case anytime I set an alarm for myself - i woke up several times beforehand, even, somehow, at approximately two minutes before the alarm was to go off. it's like i try to beat it at its own game of waking me up. alarms are mildly traumatic for me, i dread them and, even unconscious, i anticipate the sudden noise startling me out of sleep and try to avoid it happening.
woke up to my phone being entirely dead. i'd heard it updating my bank balance at 5:30ish, so it must have died between then and when i woke up. my phone and charger have been behaving weirdly towards each other recently, so when i plugged it in, it showed no sign of being charged - no red light like it's showing now, nothing. i began to feel concerned, but when i held the button to turn it on, it responded normally and is behaving normal now. idk what that was about.
so, woke up, actually was ready to get up before bb for once - is it gonna snow? - then made some instant mashed potatoes for breakfast. ya. breakfast of champions. whatever, it's probably healthier than sugary cereal. :P it was delicious, and i cleaned out the glass jar the gravy came in for witchy purposes later. and started some pumpkin coffee brewing, enough for two, for when bb woke up. on my recuperating phone, i stumbled upon a LPer who was playing LoZ:OoT blindfolded, which had some pretty hysterical moments. thank you, random person. :D
that binge of searching for my old classmates was clearly an obsessive behavior, acting out much the same way as in the LJ comments the past couple days. i didn't move for hours, just repetitively looking up people and not eating or drinking until i became so sick with hunger and dehydration that just drinking water did nothing to help. by the time bb got home i was barely able to keep my eyes open, i was so hungry that it was physically painful and my consciousness was slipping. i think part of it was still being sleep deprived, that four hour night before the ten hour work shift really took its toll on me. i'm surprised how rough it was, i've pulled short nights before with no problems.
this saturday, my brother's having a birthday party here at the house. i will definitely be nowhere to be found, even if i have to work ten hours again that night. that is the day of the contest, and nothing and no one will prevent me from going.
so yeah. i'm still angry about what happened a year ago, but it was worth it, and i almost consider Bagheera's death to have been the catalyst to the changes that followed. bless your soul, you poor beloved creature, i'm sorry you didn't get to grow up with your brothers and sisters, but your death caused them to live a much happier life.
christ, going through my archives from last fall reminds me of the total chaos that was my work life a year ago. holy shit. i'm SO GLAD that ended. i was just so bad at my job during the day that finally it forced them to give me what i want, after much suffering on my part. same with the cat thing: i was such a pain about it, no matter WHAT they did to me, i finally got what i wanted: the cats safely indoors and happy. one thing i fucking hate about being percieved as female: getting what you want comes with SO MUCH abuse. i don't think it will be nearly so hard once i'm viewed as a man. but i could be totally wrong.
ah man. good memories of this time a year ago, when i first moved my bedroom around into the position it is now, [oh the days before i had smart devices!!] plugging in my long long headphones and very quietly watching an LP of pokemon stadium from across the room while in bed... good times. turns out my wireless mouse works over amazing distances.
-later-
ahh. me and bb went to Target and had fun. i got some stuff i needed, namely razorheads, some stuff i kinda needed, namely chapstick to replace the one that got washed, and some stuff i totally DIDN'T need, like pokemon cards, stickers, a deck box and a box of gushers. >_> bleh. most of the money was spent on the razorheads, at least. and i get paid tonight, so i guess there's that, but still. but STICKERRRSSS ugh pokemon why u do this to me
woke up to my phone being entirely dead. i'd heard it updating my bank balance at 5:30ish, so it must have died between then and when i woke up. my phone and charger have been behaving weirdly towards each other recently, so when i plugged it in, it showed no sign of being charged - no red light like it's showing now, nothing. i began to feel concerned, but when i held the button to turn it on, it responded normally and is behaving normal now. idk what that was about.
so, woke up, actually was ready to get up before bb for once - is it gonna snow? - then made some instant mashed potatoes for breakfast. ya. breakfast of champions. whatever, it's probably healthier than sugary cereal. :P it was delicious, and i cleaned out the glass jar the gravy came in for witchy purposes later. and started some pumpkin coffee brewing, enough for two, for when bb woke up. on my recuperating phone, i stumbled upon a LPer who was playing LoZ:OoT blindfolded, which had some pretty hysterical moments. thank you, random person. :D
that binge of searching for my old classmates was clearly an obsessive behavior, acting out much the same way as in the LJ comments the past couple days. i didn't move for hours, just repetitively looking up people and not eating or drinking until i became so sick with hunger and dehydration that just drinking water did nothing to help. by the time bb got home i was barely able to keep my eyes open, i was so hungry that it was physically painful and my consciousness was slipping. i think part of it was still being sleep deprived, that four hour night before the ten hour work shift really took its toll on me. i'm surprised how rough it was, i've pulled short nights before with no problems.
this saturday, my brother's having a birthday party here at the house. i will definitely be nowhere to be found, even if i have to work ten hours again that night. that is the day of the contest, and nothing and no one will prevent me from going.
so yeah. i'm still angry about what happened a year ago, but it was worth it, and i almost consider Bagheera's death to have been the catalyst to the changes that followed. bless your soul, you poor beloved creature, i'm sorry you didn't get to grow up with your brothers and sisters, but your death caused them to live a much happier life.
christ, going through my archives from last fall reminds me of the total chaos that was my work life a year ago. holy shit. i'm SO GLAD that ended. i was just so bad at my job during the day that finally it forced them to give me what i want, after much suffering on my part. same with the cat thing: i was such a pain about it, no matter WHAT they did to me, i finally got what i wanted: the cats safely indoors and happy. one thing i fucking hate about being percieved as female: getting what you want comes with SO MUCH abuse. i don't think it will be nearly so hard once i'm viewed as a man. but i could be totally wrong.
ah man. good memories of this time a year ago, when i first moved my bedroom around into the position it is now, [oh the days before i had smart devices!!] plugging in my long long headphones and very quietly watching an LP of pokemon stadium from across the room while in bed... good times. turns out my wireless mouse works over amazing distances.
-later-
ahh. me and bb went to Target and had fun. i got some stuff i needed, namely razorheads, some stuff i kinda needed, namely chapstick to replace the one that got washed, and some stuff i totally DIDN'T need, like pokemon cards, stickers, a deck box and a box of gushers. >_> bleh. most of the money was spent on the razorheads, at least. and i get paid tonight, so i guess there's that, but still. but STICKERRRSSS ugh pokemon why u do this to me