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time to make an update. feelin kinda bleh and weird which is almost certainly a sign of not caring for myself properly today. gonna get in the shower when this is done.
thoughts...
- learned that we shouldn't try to have another one of those ~encounters like the other day if i'm at all distracted. like it was fine but just wasn't what i wanted, wasn't the same. and that's ok. we're learning how these things work. i wasn't tuned in as highly as the other day, didn't feel safe enough, i guess.
- bird's going away for like four days next week and im so sad about it omg. trying not to talk about it and make you feel bad or whatever bc you read like everything i write probably <3 but JUST GONNA ADMIT THAT IM SAD AND KINDA ANXIOUS ABOUT NOT TALKING FOR THAT LONG. thats a long time. what will i do at work roflll. what i'm supposed to and not actually text anyone???? impossible. but i know it's gonna be a rly good time and i'll try to find something to get into then myself.
- Magic Man is food for the soul. such happy fucking music. a ray of sunshine in music form. i hear that the artist behind it is pretty much the same way and it's rly nice to meet other people like that. hell it's nice to meet just one human ray of sunshine tbh. /squeezes Hiccup.
- OH SO this isn't a show that i watch rly but there's steven universe stuff on my dash today and it's talking a lot about how characters fuse together to make one being? and specifically this instance was two characters who were obviously in a romantic relationship, and spend a lot of the time fused as one person. and. i had feels about that. like wow. that feels like us sometimes. so i just wanted to write that.
ya. stuff. eh. gonna shower now and try to focus inwardly some more. that's been me a lot lately, just trying to train myself to do it until it's second nature. slipping back effortlessly, able to see and hear and feel that side of my life anytime.
thoughts...
- learned that we shouldn't try to have another one of those ~encounters like the other day if i'm at all distracted. like it was fine but just wasn't what i wanted, wasn't the same. and that's ok. we're learning how these things work. i wasn't tuned in as highly as the other day, didn't feel safe enough, i guess.
- bird's going away for like four days next week and im so sad about it omg. trying not to talk about it and make you feel bad or whatever bc you read like everything i write probably <3 but JUST GONNA ADMIT THAT IM SAD AND KINDA ANXIOUS ABOUT NOT TALKING FOR THAT LONG. thats a long time. what will i do at work roflll. what i'm supposed to and not actually text anyone???? impossible. but i know it's gonna be a rly good time and i'll try to find something to get into then myself.
- Magic Man is food for the soul. such happy fucking music. a ray of sunshine in music form. i hear that the artist behind it is pretty much the same way and it's rly nice to meet other people like that. hell it's nice to meet just one human ray of sunshine tbh. /squeezes Hiccup.
- OH SO this isn't a show that i watch rly but there's steven universe stuff on my dash today and it's talking a lot about how characters fuse together to make one being? and specifically this instance was two characters who were obviously in a romantic relationship, and spend a lot of the time fused as one person. and. i had feels about that. like wow. that feels like us sometimes. so i just wanted to write that.
ya. stuff. eh. gonna shower now and try to focus inwardly some more. that's been me a lot lately, just trying to train myself to do it until it's second nature. slipping back effortlessly, able to see and hear and feel that side of my life anytime.
