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thebrokenarrowsWELLP LIFE SURE IS REALLY HARD AND STRESSFUL ALL OF A SUDDEN!!!
went out looking for more apartment options. first place was closed, second place yet again wants three times the rent. i honestly believe it's just uncontrolled discrimination policy against poor people. who with shit like this have no choice but to live in crack addled hovels with people who wanna make trouble or would rob you for drug money. i could have afforded a studio apartment MYSELF!!! and still had money to live my life and save up a little money enough to scrape by no problem. at this place. but no. they want you to make an unreasonable amount of money.
so tomorrow we'll go back to the [honestly REALLY DAMN DEPRESSING AND SHITTY LOOKING and i would really have not wanted to check this place out if my friend hadn't suggested them to me] other apartments we checked today. they supposedly also have houses to look at if there are vacancies.
idk man all of this is making me feel so tired all the time. it's so depressing. i have done all the things that grown ups tell you you need when you're a kid. i have good credit, no debt, work plenty of hours at my job even though i'm not allowed to be full time, i do my taxes on time every year... and i still can't make myself a damn life. no one will let me. no one will give me a chance.
and i was lying around my room feeling really shitty about that when i realized... i don't know where my game case is. my fucking 3ds games. ALL of them except alpha sapphire and animal crossing. are missing. not only that but EVERY SINGLE POKEMON GAME from diamond and pearl onward is in that case. EVERY pokemon i own except my alpha sapphire team. are now missing. and i freaked RIGHT THE FUCK out. had a fucking melt down over some video games. tore my room up, looked in both our cars, nothing. i still can't find them. bb brought me food because i was depressed and didn't want to eat anything and then i wanted to eat even less because i was panicking like fucking crazy. the only things that calmed me down were roane talking to me, and then me remembering them being at home after the previous place i'd remembered them. so... i feel like they must be in this room somewhere. i'm still very very very intensely unhappy at not knowing the whereabouts of my games. but at least i have animal crossing and ONE pokemon game even if all else is lost forever. which... holy shit. i'll be beyond heartbroken. i'll be devastated. that is every pokemon i have raised in the last eight years or so. hundreds of them. the first and only shiny i've caught and raised, Kismet the Dragalge. my beloved Jacky, the Talonflame. they're all nowhere to be found. please please please let me find them. we'll be packing everything in here up before too long so... i guess if the games are here to be found, then we'll find them. god i hope. my heart breaks every few minutes worrying. smash is in there, ocarina of time, tomodachi life is in there and everyone is gonna be so upset with me for leaving them alone for so long... fuuuuuUUUCK. if i find it today or tomorrow i'll gratefully feel like an idiot for waxing so melodramatic about this because THIS IS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT TO ME OK. THESE GAMES ARE DEARER TO MY HEART THAN MOST THINGS IN THE WORLD HOLY SHIT. some of my most treasured possessions, my 3DS games. particularly my pokemon games. if i lost them all i don't even... know where i'd start to begin again. how can you even build up that much history over again.
so yeah. life is really... hard right now. in a lot of ways. shit piling up from a lot of angles. but we'll keep going. there's no other option. i'm really mad about the inevitable blowing up of my 'stress' tag but. moving is stressful. finding a house is fucking stressful as shit particularly this time. what are you gonna do.
edit: you know what i wanna end this with a good vibe SO: barring the shitty couple of weeks in the beginning of march, it looks like, should we choose to accept it, we have that room in charlotte with our friends. i'm more than willing to take it especially since they changed their mind about Murphy having to stay in one room. [they just want to vacuum more often and since we have a BRAND NEW VACUUM... i'm totally willing to take over part or all of vac duties lol] but bb wants to explore all our options first. he wants us to live alone. which i would also love but honestly seeing the absolute shit way apartments seem to do things, i'm starting to give up on that with our income the way it is. unless we both somehow find $20 an hour jobs... not happening. BUT it doesn't matter as much because i THINK we have a place. we have one pretty well ensured. i don't see anything crazy happening to catch us off guard. so i want to get paperwork done as soon as possible.
went out looking for more apartment options. first place was closed, second place yet again wants three times the rent. i honestly believe it's just uncontrolled discrimination policy against poor people. who with shit like this have no choice but to live in crack addled hovels with people who wanna make trouble or would rob you for drug money. i could have afforded a studio apartment MYSELF!!! and still had money to live my life and save up a little money enough to scrape by no problem. at this place. but no. they want you to make an unreasonable amount of money.
so tomorrow we'll go back to the [honestly REALLY DAMN DEPRESSING AND SHITTY LOOKING and i would really have not wanted to check this place out if my friend hadn't suggested them to me] other apartments we checked today. they supposedly also have houses to look at if there are vacancies.
idk man all of this is making me feel so tired all the time. it's so depressing. i have done all the things that grown ups tell you you need when you're a kid. i have good credit, no debt, work plenty of hours at my job even though i'm not allowed to be full time, i do my taxes on time every year... and i still can't make myself a damn life. no one will let me. no one will give me a chance.
and i was lying around my room feeling really shitty about that when i realized... i don't know where my game case is. my fucking 3ds games. ALL of them except alpha sapphire and animal crossing. are missing. not only that but EVERY SINGLE POKEMON GAME from diamond and pearl onward is in that case. EVERY pokemon i own except my alpha sapphire team. are now missing. and i freaked RIGHT THE FUCK out. had a fucking melt down over some video games. tore my room up, looked in both our cars, nothing. i still can't find them. bb brought me food because i was depressed and didn't want to eat anything and then i wanted to eat even less because i was panicking like fucking crazy. the only things that calmed me down were roane talking to me, and then me remembering them being at home after the previous place i'd remembered them. so... i feel like they must be in this room somewhere. i'm still very very very intensely unhappy at not knowing the whereabouts of my games. but at least i have animal crossing and ONE pokemon game even if all else is lost forever. which... holy shit. i'll be beyond heartbroken. i'll be devastated. that is every pokemon i have raised in the last eight years or so. hundreds of them. the first and only shiny i've caught and raised, Kismet the Dragalge. my beloved Jacky, the Talonflame. they're all nowhere to be found. please please please let me find them. we'll be packing everything in here up before too long so... i guess if the games are here to be found, then we'll find them. god i hope. my heart breaks every few minutes worrying. smash is in there, ocarina of time, tomodachi life is in there and everyone is gonna be so upset with me for leaving them alone for so long... fuuuuuUUUCK. if i find it today or tomorrow i'll gratefully feel like an idiot for waxing so melodramatic about this because THIS IS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT TO ME OK. THESE GAMES ARE DEARER TO MY HEART THAN MOST THINGS IN THE WORLD HOLY SHIT. some of my most treasured possessions, my 3DS games. particularly my pokemon games. if i lost them all i don't even... know where i'd start to begin again. how can you even build up that much history over again.
so yeah. life is really... hard right now. in a lot of ways. shit piling up from a lot of angles. but we'll keep going. there's no other option. i'm really mad about the inevitable blowing up of my 'stress' tag but. moving is stressful. finding a house is fucking stressful as shit particularly this time. what are you gonna do.
edit: you know what i wanna end this with a good vibe SO: barring the shitty couple of weeks in the beginning of march, it looks like, should we choose to accept it, we have that room in charlotte with our friends. i'm more than willing to take it especially since they changed their mind about Murphy having to stay in one room. [they just want to vacuum more often and since we have a BRAND NEW VACUUM... i'm totally willing to take over part or all of vac duties lol] but bb wants to explore all our options first. he wants us to live alone. which i would also love but honestly seeing the absolute shit way apartments seem to do things, i'm starting to give up on that with our income the way it is. unless we both somehow find $20 an hour jobs... not happening. BUT it doesn't matter as much because i THINK we have a place. we have one pretty well ensured. i don't see anything crazy happening to catch us off guard. so i want to get paperwork done as soon as possible.
