the Broken Arrows (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thebrokenarrows) wrote2015-04-26 07:39 pm
thebrokenarrows) wrote2015-04-26 07:39 pm
Entry tags:
042615
what was today? idk. it went by super quickly. woke up, after a few hours bb went off to a friend's house for a birthday party. i sat down and did some art, it was good. a few pieces but they were important ones. went out for a little walk to get a bite to eat, it was unexpectedly cold out. overcast and grey. on the walk back home the Toy Soldier came and went, dressed not in his usual blue and black and white, but in the uniform of a Cadet. alrighty then.
and a bit later on Hiccup woke up, saw the clouds and planes and such and suddenly dropped into front. didn't seem like he meant to, just did, and walked the rest of the way home. watched a plane taking off and climbing until it plunged through the cloud layer, watched a crow dive and dodge through cars to grab whatever it saw in the road. felt the cold wind blow and felt happy to be in a living body again. but then, in the pit of our gut he felt a solid weight. the stone. the core, his core. that strange seedlike thing, it was inside him still. this wasn't unexpected, but Hiccup seemed surprised and a little bit solemn even. holding his hand to our gut like it was physically there inside our body.
soon as we got home heard the skype tone. perfect timing. talked to Bird for a while. their move will be coming up very soon, this week is gonna be a little stressful i'm afraid. but worth it.
last night was. fff. what do i say? it shook me. such a small simple thing shook me to my core. open displays of affection are somewhat sparse, but when they come they are... extremely well-aimed. and always slay me. with me. she said she's with me. turned that over in my head for hours even after i stopped trembling from having read it. tried to not let my mind run away with it too much... hahah. but. ugh. even when i woke up i was still thinking about it. and what exactly it meant. two creatures walking side by side, she said. i love her and i love the power she has to make me feel things.
got a little bummed out later because i guess i get weirdly shut off on more real-time conversations like skype or over the phone? i don't think it's just me, but... i don't like it. want to be open the same as i normally am. it feels good. it's scary but feels really nice. gotta stay open and not shrink into myself at all. there's no reason to do that.
it's raining again. lots and lots of rain this spring. what i want is a big thunderstorm tbh. can't wait for a day off even though Tuesday will be spent largely doing car stuff if all goes as planned.
mmm. i dunno. one minute feeling a little anxious and not the best, the next just feeling sappy and romantic trash hahah. just gonna hold onto that. it seems my ability to brood endlessly over romantic things is inexhaustible. i'm ok with this.
wanna take a shower bc i didn't take one yesterday but THERE'S A TINY BIRD SLEEPING ON ME HELP i can't disturb him ;_;
edit: OH YEAH AND LOL last night got into work SO fucking tired and not feeling it and starting to feel kinda panicky and.... they didn't even need me. i wandered around for half an hour and did basically nothing. they had no need for me there at all i was just taking up space and on the clock for no reason, i could have been sleeping. and eventually i got SO MAD about this that i stormed through the store and got ALL the third shift work done that needed doing, or like at least 75% of it, in an hour before they finally needed to put me in a spot. so THEN what followed turned out to be the smoothest saturday i have ever had without Legit Manager working. and mostly because of me being angry about my stupid work shift and getting all the necessary stuff done early LMAO. and also helping my mental state tremendously were bb and Bird, who were sending me cute pictures of animals and giving me really wonderful sage advice, respectively. i love my people -v-
and a bit later on Hiccup woke up, saw the clouds and planes and such and suddenly dropped into front. didn't seem like he meant to, just did, and walked the rest of the way home. watched a plane taking off and climbing until it plunged through the cloud layer, watched a crow dive and dodge through cars to grab whatever it saw in the road. felt the cold wind blow and felt happy to be in a living body again. but then, in the pit of our gut he felt a solid weight. the stone. the core, his core. that strange seedlike thing, it was inside him still. this wasn't unexpected, but Hiccup seemed surprised and a little bit solemn even. holding his hand to our gut like it was physically there inside our body.
soon as we got home heard the skype tone. perfect timing. talked to Bird for a while. their move will be coming up very soon, this week is gonna be a little stressful i'm afraid. but worth it.
last night was. fff. what do i say? it shook me. such a small simple thing shook me to my core. open displays of affection are somewhat sparse, but when they come they are... extremely well-aimed. and always slay me. with me. she said she's with me. turned that over in my head for hours even after i stopped trembling from having read it. tried to not let my mind run away with it too much... hahah. but. ugh. even when i woke up i was still thinking about it. and what exactly it meant. two creatures walking side by side, she said. i love her and i love the power she has to make me feel things.
got a little bummed out later because i guess i get weirdly shut off on more real-time conversations like skype or over the phone? i don't think it's just me, but... i don't like it. want to be open the same as i normally am. it feels good. it's scary but feels really nice. gotta stay open and not shrink into myself at all. there's no reason to do that.
it's raining again. lots and lots of rain this spring. what i want is a big thunderstorm tbh. can't wait for a day off even though Tuesday will be spent largely doing car stuff if all goes as planned.
mmm. i dunno. one minute feeling a little anxious and not the best, the next just feeling sappy and romantic trash hahah. just gonna hold onto that. it seems my ability to brood endlessly over romantic things is inexhaustible. i'm ok with this.
wanna take a shower bc i didn't take one yesterday but THERE'S A TINY BIRD SLEEPING ON ME HELP i can't disturb him ;_;
edit: OH YEAH AND LOL last night got into work SO fucking tired and not feeling it and starting to feel kinda panicky and.... they didn't even need me. i wandered around for half an hour and did basically nothing. they had no need for me there at all i was just taking up space and on the clock for no reason, i could have been sleeping. and eventually i got SO MAD about this that i stormed through the store and got ALL the third shift work done that needed doing, or like at least 75% of it, in an hour before they finally needed to put me in a spot. so THEN what followed turned out to be the smoothest saturday i have ever had without Legit Manager working. and mostly because of me being angry about my stupid work shift and getting all the necessary stuff done early LMAO. and also helping my mental state tremendously were bb and Bird, who were sending me cute pictures of animals and giving me really wonderful sage advice, respectively. i love my people -v-